Lyrics
It was a present for the bride
The guy was being crucified
I saw it there in black and white
They said he'd been a leading light
In something happening way out East
I'd guess that that was true, at least
And then they went on to debate
"The crimes of the Islamic State"
But thankfully they then attacked
Perspective camouflaged as fact
The headline that at first they chose
"The Duchess and Her Broken Nose"
Had only lasted half the night
Until the story came to light
Of how the bishop lost his speech
Whilst dogging at the Pleasure Beach
They splashed out on the Women's page
With "Nipples and The Living Wage"
But thankfully they then attacked
Perspective camouflaged as fact
The competition for today
Had really blown them all away
A night in someone else's bra
The best they'd ever had, by far
The phones were ringing off the hook
The free gift of the prayer book
Enlivened by a tasteful nude
Had really caught the public mood
But thankfully they then attacked
Perspective camouflaged as fact
"So much to give, so much to lose"
The Sports page carried tragic news
Around the death of Mickey Finn
Below, an ad for Gordon's Gin
For Magic Mick had been a face
Though later, more a basket case
Of why, you shouldn't drink and drive
In all our minds, he's still alive
But thankfully they still attacked
Perspective camouflaged as fact
And may they never compromise
The journalistic enterprise
Remember, publish and be damned
And though the phone lines may be jammed
To give the readers what they need
Whilst seeking never to mislead
To conscientiously expose
The duchess with the broken nose
While making sure it is attacked
Perspective camouflaged as fact