Lyrics
I've been going out with a girl
Her name is Julie
But last night she said to me when we were watching telly
(This is what she said)
She said, "Listen John, I love you, but there's this bloke I fancy
I don't want to two-time you so it's the end for you and me"
"Who's this bloke" I asked her
"Gordon", she replied
"Not that puff", I said dismayed
"Yes, but he's no puff" she cried
("He's more of a man than you'll ever be")
(Here we go, 2, 3, 4!)
I was so upset that I cried
All the way to the chip shop
And when I came out, there was Gordon standing at the bus stop
(And guess who was with him? Yeah Julie, and they were both laughing at me)
Oh, she is cruel and heartless
Two packed me for Gordon
Just 'cause he's better looking than me
Just 'cause he's cool and trendy
But I know he's a moron
Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron!
(Here we go 2, 3, 4!)
Oh, she's a slag
And he's a creep
She's a tart
He's very cheap
She is a slut
He thinks he's tough
She is a bitch
He is a puff
Yeah, yeah
It's not fair
Yeah, yeah
It's not fair
(I'm so upset)
I'm so upset
I'm so upset
Yeah, yeah
(I ought to smash his face in)
(Yeah, but he's bigger than me isn't he?)
(I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him, he'd flatten him)
(Yeah, but Barry's a mate of Gordon's isn't he?)
(Oh well, I don't care)
I don't care
I don't care
'Cause she's a slag and he's a creep
She's a tart, he's very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough
