Lyrics
Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome
I don't necessarily need to be here for this
Can I
I'm gonna keep the headphones
Motherf-, I'm awesome, no you're not, dude, don't lie
I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Motherf-, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome, there's no voice mail, nobody called
I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy -
Then I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
You know my pants sag low (low)
Even though (though) that went out of style, like ten years ago (go)
Spose, I got the swagger of a cripple
I got little biceps getting fatter in the middle
And lyrically I'm not the best
Physically the opposite of Randy Moss, and yet
So preposterous, feel the awesomeness
The most obnoxious guest up at the sausage fest, oh, yes
The girls are repulsed, so I hide in my hood like I'm joining a cult (uh-huh)
I'm as nervous as my cat, ol' Dirty Curtis
All my writtens are bitten and all my verses are purchased
Me, I'll never date an actress, got too many back zits
Plus, my whole home aroma is cat piss
Every show I do is poorly promoted
And if you like this it's 'cause my little sister wrote it
I'm awesome, no you're not, dude, don't lie
I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Motherf-, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome, there's no voice mail, nobody called
I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy -
Then I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome
The swa-swa-swa- swagger of a cripple (of a cripple)
The-the swa-swagger of-of a cri-cri-cripple
Check it out, I'm from Maine and I don't hunt (nope)
And I can't ski
Smoke -, but I can't roll -, find me whipped by my wifey
My neck not icy, eatin' at McDonald's because Subway's pricey
Ha, and my unibrow is plucked
Just asked my mom if I could borrow ten bucks
She's like, "For what? B- wraps and some Heinekens?
You skinny -, go get a gym membership and vitamins!"
I'm like, "Mom please, don't blame it on me
I got my bad habits from you, Dad, and Aunt Steve"
My attitude's sour, but my futon's sweet
And the hair on my -, it is Jumanji
Suit untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift
Can't tweet up on my Twitter 'cause I haven't done -
Bank account red, body ungroomed
The only good thing about me is I'm off-stage soon
I'm awesome, no you're not, dude, don't lie
I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Motherf-, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome, there's no voice mail, nobody called
I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy -
Then I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome
Suit un-un-untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift
Furthermore, I am cornier than Ethanol
Cheesier than Provolone
I spent ages eight to ten living in a motorhome
With a ego the size of Tim Duncan
Even though I got - for brains like a blumpkin
I'm 24, serving lobster rolls
Because I spent a decade filling Optimos
And I'm not even the bomb in Maine
On my game, I'm only about as sexy as John McCain
Now put your hands up if you have nightmares
If you wouldn't man up if there was a fight here
If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer
I'm outta breath
But I'm awesome, no you're not, dude, don't lie
I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Motherf-, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome, there's no voice mail, nobody called
I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy -
Then I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome
Aw-aw-aw-aw, awesome
Aw-aw-aw-aw, awesome
