歌词
To preface
I'd argue it's malignant
How could it not be?
The things that grow inside
You and i, asked to live
But not to die
"i never chose to be here"
Every wrong word or song
Misremembered verse or psalm
Has never brought me comfort
On a sleepless night
Neither has the sun or air or life or light
I thus articulate
"home is hate."
And i'm sure
My friends roll
In their graves
I'm so tired and nothing's happened yet
In being
Or in beingness
(breathe the simulation, breathe the way to be.)
The universe comes alive with my eyes
Each day
It keeps me afraid
(smothering me.)
Spilled thanatophobia
From a crack in the cup
Like the tainted stillbirth
I lapped it up, you cried
"cannibalism!"
I cried
"martyr! foul! foul! foul!
Foul! foul!"
(what will it take you to align?
What would it take you to make you realize?
It took me everything i had.)
And my dead friends
Roll in their graves
(constant eyes, always.)
When will i get the word: sacrifice?
As i fuck up every alternate ending
(i'm so tired of new faces, novelty
Every city street i've ever seen has
Cried out to me
"nothing!")
Is this what you wanted? you're
Creating the carnage. it's becoming so
Old - the words that i noted
"if i could be honest with myself for once."
Take me back to the ways
We were before
To the ways it was before i woke up
Death's on my mind
(did you go alone?)
It keeps me awake, it makes me afraid