DECAY

Don't care if you have to lie just tell me that you love me
Cause sometimes I need someone but I'm getting nothing
Feeling unlovable like maybe I'm just ugly
I'm always gonna be alone tryna get something
That I really want but I just could never get that
Not a kiss or a hug or even just a text back
Human interaction wish that I could access that
Instead I'm stuck in my room trying to perfect raps
I'm that underground rapper trying for years to get in the music scene
Writing songs about suicide and how I don't fit in with human beings
Tell me who is attracted to that
Don't even know where the fuck I'm at
I gotta work on myself and be better but it's never easy as that
Cause can't you tell that I'm sensitive
You would never hear me mention this
Cause I'm a tough boy that don't need nobody but sometimes I need a friend in this
Shitty world cause I cannot handle another day of me feeling alone
Sick of me staying up all night just writing songs on my fucking own

I fantasised my death yeah that felt great
Say that they care but won't be at my grave
So go make some space bitch I'm on the way
Alive or dead my mind will just decay

For so many years I've had this on my mind
Tossing up options about suicide
They say it gets so much better with the time
But- I, think that's a lie
Cause I've been writing songs for 6 motherfuckin' years
And I found a USB with my old songs on here
And I found the first song I wrote, followed by some tears
11 year old me wrote bout suicide quite clear
6 years later nothing changed so does it get better?
Or is that a lie we say to our friends when we check up
On them cause we just don't wanna have to read a letter
Of goodbyes and how they just couldn't deal with the pressure
And I know I got people relying on me so I can't be in a grave
But sometimes living is so painful and it feels like there's no other way
Just gotta hold onto the hope that tomorrow is a better fuckin' day
Even as appealing as it sounds to just be gone forever and decay

I fantasised my death yeah that felt great
Say that they care but won't be at my grave
So go make some space bitch I'm on the way
Alive or dead my mind will just decay

I think I'm just gonna die on my own
Watch them say that they miss me when I don't
Hear it cause me body is decaying 6 feet into the dirt now
They say look for the light, but that's just a flame that finna burn out

I fantasised my death yeah that felt great
Say that they care but won't be at my grave
So go make some space bitch I'm on the way
Alive or dead my mind will just decay
Bitch! Arg- run it back and tell me what it means
Yeah- you hear me go you hear me go and scream
Aye but you don't give a fuck, it's just me
Yeah- but that's alright cause I don't feel a thing