AWOL

Shit I'm back at it again
Got millions of issues I might phone a friend
The things on my mind aren't easy to mend
And my clock is TikToking, I might start a trend

The road is so winding is that a dead end
My legs are so tired cannot comprehend
My mind is so wired I cannot contend
Repression ain't working, don't recommend

I just wanna be back in bed, or dead
But neither are an option so instead
Sit down my friends, lets break some bread
In fact why don't we play pretend

I'll be the villain with nothing to lose
You'll be the hero with something to prove
But here's the bad news, no matter your moves
Your motives, nobody approves

This is no longer a game
I can't push the blame, no matter the shame
I'm taking my aim, I'm staking my claim
I'm here to proclaim I'm breaking these chains

Look in the mirror, look what I became
Up to my bed side, my home is in flames
I need to contain my brain and tame
The ghosts in my mind, earn respect for my name

Earn respect for my name
Burn the bridges I made
I need to escape, I need to reshape
Fuck the red tape, my girls need a better land scape

So brick by brick I'm building a wall
Where nightfall threatens, will it be my downfall
And above all else know the cards were dealt
Cause in the end, everybody else

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I'm taking my time with every line
Cut out the cancer, no longer benign
But all of the knives I find, deep in my spine
Were placed by design

Defined by my incline, confined I'm blind
I need to unwind my mind and remind myself
In due time that I'll be defined
By all of this sacrifice

Will it suffice, I'm rolling the dice
I don't need advise, I just need a vice
Just give me the price
Don't make me think twice, just take me to paradise

Escitalopram has been talking to me
I don't give a damn, a plot or a scam
I just need a break from the noise in my head
So instead, I made a deal with the beast

I made a deal with the beast, you see
In fact last night he came to me, said
CJ I promise you everything
Anything you want, leave it to me

I said wait, is there even a catch
He took a long pause and then he said yes
I need your mind, your body, your all
I said fuck it, looks like I'm going

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