Tsunami

I don't even get angry anymore
I just close my blinds and lock the door
'Cause I know that they won't understand
I'm alone and stuck with shaking hands
I'm a mess, I'm bleeding on the floor
I try my best, but I need something more
Should I take my life for fuck's sake?
'Cause it's on my mind everyday

I feel too much, bash my head against the wall
Nothing's right, I'm still waiting for your call
Wreck my head, it's always messy by default
Promise me you didn't fill my wounds with salt
I'm always tired so my bones collapse
I traded in my spine for a heart attack
I fucking feel so blind
Everything fades to black
And both my legs go numb
Now I cannot run back

I feel so out of touch
I'm getting way too fucking cynical
I hope I'm enough
'Cause if I'm not, I won't be in pursuit
I know my worth at least a little bit, you doubt that
I'm feeling anxious so if you need me, I'll be out back
But I know you won't come looking
'Cause you couldn't be bothered
Even though you act like I'm your everything, it's awkward
Tsunamis in my stomach won't reside without an offer
So I chief my pen, I hope you don't mind I'm a cougher

If you got shit to say then say it to my face
Watch your mouth before I put you in your place
You better lower your tone when you're speaking to me
I feel just like a god when I'm watching you bleed
Couldn't give less of a fuck about the money 'cause that's lame
I just want catharsis, something that will kill the pain
I do this cause I love it, not a dollar to my name
The drive within my heart will never do this shit in vain

I'm not gonna lie, I haven't got good sleep in ages
When I shut my eyes, my thoughts are flipping through the pages
My head can't stop running, feet are far behind the pavement
Sick of all the static so please let me make a statement
I could not care less about your health or wealth, I'm done
Fighting off the anger, but I'm positive it won
You wore me down just like the nail that lingers on my thumb
If I spoke from my chest, you would just tell everyone

I'm coming lurking between all the shadows
Now I'm the villain, but I'll always win the battles
You were the snake, but I never heard the rattle
My mental boiling mad, now I'm splitting between the atoms

If only I knew what this could've been for
I never would've stayed if you're in this form
Now you got me filling up
'Bout to cause a tidal wave
You can throw our story out
Your plans on the title page

I hope you're praying on my downfall
Because I never wanna see you again
This was never at all my fault
Your heart was always playing pretend

How you gonna look me in the eyes and tell me everything's okay?
Especially after all was done, my heart has started to decay
Nothing will ever mend the bridge between you and I
Here we go our separate ways
Here's our final goodbye