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"96 Quite Bitter Beings" is the debut single by American rock band CKY. Written by the band's lead vocalist and guitarist Deron Miller, it was produced by the band's lead guitarist and backing vocalist Chad I Ginsburg and featured as the opening track on the band's 1999 debut studio album Volume 1. The song was also released as the album's only single in 1999. Despite not charting, it is considered to be CKY's most famous song and has been featured on a number of external releases.

As with the rest of the Volume 1 album, "96 Quite Bitter Beings" was written by CKY frontman Deron Miller, and was reportedly conceived during an afternoon on which he decided not to go to work. Speaking about the song in 2015, Miller noted that it was the last to be written for the album, and that he came up with the riff at drummer Jess Margera's house after their regular rehearsal space had been flooded. Later pressings of Volume 1 co-credited the writing of the song (and the album) to Miller, Margera and guitarist Chad I Ginsburg, although the frontman upholds that this was a merely "cosmetic" measure.

"96 Quite Bitter Beings" is the first CKY song in the "Hellview" series, a trilogy which tells "a story about a town that doesn't take kindly to outsiders" and continued with "Escape from Hellview" on 2002's Infiltrate•Destroy•Rebuild and later "Hellions on Parade" on 2009's Carver City. After its release on Volume 1 and as a single in 1999, the track was included on the two-track extended play (EP) Hellview along with the second entry "Escape from Hellview" in 2003. On December 28, 2010, the band released a remastered version of the song as a digital download, backed with live recordings of An Answer Can Be Found tracks "Dressed in Decay" and "All Power to Slaves", and Volume 1 track "To All of You". In 2015, it was included on the limited edition vinyl compilation album The Best of CKY.

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